One Chinese guy walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese"."Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain.
serious time: meanwhile film-maker steven spielberg may quit as artistic director of the beijing olympics unless china takes a tougher stance against sudan, reports ABC news. this is related to the darfu conflict, a genocide (racial extermination) incident in Sudan. since china is a major investor in Sudan's oil industry, they are now criticised for not sending UN peacekeepers to the country's troubled Darfur region.
here's the film-maker statement on the conflict, he wrote (to the chinese president Hu Jintao in May): “I add my voice to those who ask that China change its policy toward Sudan and pressure the Sudanese government to accept the entrance of United Nations peacekeepers to protect the victims of genocide in Darfur.”
my sympathy to mr. spielberg if you really help dalfur instead of supporting china's olympic PR campaign. take an action now.
God created the mule, and told him, "You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20."
And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." The dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years."
And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." The monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years."
And it was so.
Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational Being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."
The man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little.
Please, Lord; give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected."
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren.
And it is so...
how about you? what stage are you in? mule, dog or monkey?
i also can’t help laughing reading the following discussion entitled “before and after marriage”:
He: At last, Yes It was so hard to wait!
She: Do you want to leave me?
He: No, Don’t even think about it!
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No, why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy, I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
curious about the after marriage? read the text from bottom to top. funny isn’t it? but here's another one from james dobson:
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without."
have fun together.
an opening remarks asked by the chief disturber himself mr. anthony pangilinan, who practically disturbed us last tuesday and wednesday. in fact i was one of the privileged to attend in his seminar entitled managing your time, sponsored by the company. he discussed some principles about life management... before the training i thought it was plainly time management, but then all topics he delivered was really life changing and all about life management seminar. i believe in seth godin's words when he says Ideas that spread, Win. true, isn't it? now, let me share it with you. here they are from the master disturber...
- know yourself. maximize, don't apologize. be true to your design.
- know what you want. the power of vision. if you don't know what you want, you will be used by others who know what they want.
- be aware of what is going around you. the more we complain the less we produce. wrong diagnosis leads to the wrong prescription, the wrong prescription leads to the wrong treatment, the wrong treatment leads to the early expiration of the patient.
- adopt a personal system of time and stress management. wrote things done. play a puzzle game. try reengineering.
- anticipate change in life. be a chaord. navigate, don't just "go with the flow"
- draw from within. be a person of enthusiasm (En Theos). it's not doing without, it's doing within when your without.
i thank analog for the generosity of allowing me to attend in this kind of seminar. i am not perfect, and i think nobody does. i have my own problems too, financial, relational, professional and personal. whatever it is, i know time will come to me and i will overcome all of those, with help from this kind of principles and ....prayers. i want to spend more quality with my family too. quality time is really essential. Isn't it? particularly when you spend it with your love ones, quality time for our family is giving our time for what they want to do. no agenda... plainly, just what they want to do.
"how about you, how much will you spend?"
i can't remember if it was the exact quote and i still can't find it even on the net (help po). what i just remember is that it is from him, the great president of the republic (for me). if my memory serves me well, i read it during my first year high, from a barrowed book of my dad i think. please correct me if i'm wrong. corrections is gladly welcome. there is also a classic words that says "the only thing that's permanent in this world is.... change". yes we knew that. but the thing that we do not understand is the impact of change that is affecting you and me TODAY.
in a speech by mr. Goizueta some ten years ago. by the way this man is the former CEO of coca-cola company. he said, "Not long ago, we did some research and came up with an interesting set of facts. A billion hours ago, human life appeared on Earth. A billion minutes ago, Christianity emerged. A billion seconds ago, the Beatles performed on The Ed Sullivan Show. A billion Coca-Colas ago was yesterday morning. And the question we are asking ourselves now is: What must we do to make a billion Coca-Colas ago be this morning? By asking ourselves that question, we discipline ourselves to that long-term view." that is the power of having a positive perspective about life and business.
it was not an easy experience for me since my line is to deal with people as a technical trainer. i just took a rest for a week, it was only my decision to go back to work though my wife and my mom resisted me to go back only a week after the incident, but then i don't wan't just them trying to figure out that i looked really good back then. rather i said to myself that i simply did not want my face to be my only asset and i will rather live on my own than live with a face that looks at me with the wrong eyes. it is only the people's analysis with paralysis. i must live my life to the fullest.
(from Alvin Tofler's Future Shock)
- Men can read smaller print that woman; woman can hear better. (beware of that)
- Coca-cola was originally green. (sprite and mountain dew had followed)
- It is impossible to lick your own elbow.
- The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
- Each king in deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spade-King david, Heart-Charlemagne, Clubs-Alexander the Great, diamonds-Julius Caesar.
- And if you love math, you might be thrilled to know that 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321.
- If a statue in the park of a person on the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. if the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
- Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
- Question: Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?, Answer: Their birthplace.
- Q: What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printer have in common? A: All were invented by woman.
- Q: What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A: Honey.
- Q: What What trivia fact about Mel Blac (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic? A: He was allergic to carrots.
- It was accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, thus the word honeymoon came from.
We can get too many information, data and ideas by means of reading, practice of good listening and communication. "We are drowning in information bet we are starved for knowledge.", this is true, isn't it? Truth be told by Arthur Wellington that "Wise people learn when they can... fools learn when they must."
Another one from Edward de Bono "Ideas are the spectacles through which we look at data in order to see information. Data is useless until we look at it through an idea - only then it become useful information."
Today is the 109th Philippine Independence Day and it just happen that this week I also started reading Steven Covey's well-known 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (only posible by doing it...i hope i can cultivate all of them) He said, a person should move progressively in the context of self maturity from dependency to interdependency. Interdependence is a matter of choice, we must achieve independence first before we choose interdependence. (...thanks to those who fought, atleast now we have it... really? do you? think again!) Winning private vitories must come first before public victories. I hope I could share the same thought in the near future. (maybe after reading and applying the book I guess)
Maraming Salamat at Mabuhay!
m = Your diamond strength, crystal bravery a faceted fortress tempered by your self-love
delta v = From the cold insecurity of night to the sun shaking your hand each morning while your heart drums life's confirmation song
delta t = From temporal neutrality to that split instant your intuition knows . . . eureka!
x1 = Celebrating your victories, the transformation to deity
x2 = Lying in your crib, frightened of your mothers sneeze
y1 = Forged impenetrable through triumph
y2 = Soft as your baby butt
In full form:
P = (m(delta v/delta t)((x1 - x2)^2 + (y1 - y2)^2)^.5)/t
Power of Confidence = (Your diamond strength, crystal bravery a faceted fortress tempered by your self-love)( From the cold insecurity of night to the sun shaking your hand each morning while your heart drums life's confirmation song/ From temporal neutrality to that split instant your intuition knows . . . eureka!) ((celebrating your victories, the transformation to deity - Lying in your crib, frightened of your mothers sneeze)^2 + (forged impenetrable through triumph - soft as your baby butt)^2)^.5/From temporal neutrality to that split instant your intuition knows . . . eureka!