here comes the walrus

spielberg meets chinese

joke time muna: this is from a friend's email sent to me this morning. i had nothing to post so for the mean time, joke time muna. here it goes...

One Chinese guy walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese"."Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain.

serious time: meanwhile film-maker steven spielberg may quit as artistic director of the beijing olympics unless china takes a tougher stance against sudan, reports ABC news. this is related to the darfu conflict, a genocide (racial extermination) incident in Sudan. since china is a major investor in Sudan's oil industry, they are now criticised for not sending UN peacekeepers to the country's troubled Darfur region.

here's the film-maker statement on the conflict, he wrote (to the chinese president Hu Jintao in May): “I add my voice to those who ask that China change its policy toward Sudan and pressure the Sudanese government to accept the entrance of United Nations peacekeepers to protect the victims of genocide in Darfur.”

my sympathy to mr. spielberg if you really help dalfur instead of supporting china's olympic PR campaign. take an action now.

day five and six

i remember my post some two years ago, entitled still in uterus. this one is something related to that, but this is not a about theology anyway. this story was shared to me from the DZFE office which was also aired from the program of sir francis kong business matters:

God created the mule, and told him, "You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20."
And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." The dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years."
And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." The monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years."
And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational Being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."

The man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little.
Please, Lord; give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected."

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren.
And it is so...

how about you? what stage are you in? mule, dog or monkey?

double fantasy

Married life is not an easy step, some exhausting but fun. it is really a process of day-by-day discovering each other and accepting one another, gaining personal uplift by facing a numerous challenges.

i also can’t help laughing reading the following discussion entitled “before and after marriage”:

before marriage:
He: At last, Yes It was so hard to wait!
She: Do you want to leave me?
He: No, Don’t even think about it!
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No, why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy, I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes!
She: Darling!

curious about the after marriage? read the text from bottom to top. funny isn’t it? but here's another one from james dobson:

"Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without."

have fun together.

Constant 86400

"if you're given P86,400 pesos everyday and were asked to return whatever you haven't spend in a day, how much will you spend and return?"

an opening remarks asked by the chief disturber himself mr. anthony pangilinan, who practically disturbed us last tuesday and wednesday. in fact i was one of the privileged to attend in his seminar entitled managing your time, sponsored by the company. he discussed some principles about life management... before the training i thought it was plainly time management, but then all topics he delivered was really life changing and all about life management seminar. i believe in seth godin's words when he says Ideas that spread, Win. true, isn't it? now, let me share it with you. here they are from the master disturber...

1. know yourself. maximize, don't apologize. be true to your design.
2. know what you want. the power of vision. if you don't know what you want, you will be used by others who know what they want.
3. be aware of what is going around you. the more we complain the less we produce. wrong diagnosis leads to the wrong prescription, the wrong prescription leads to the wrong treatment, the wrong treatment leads to the early expiration of the patient.
4. adopt a personal system of time and stress management. wrote things done. play a puzzle game. try reengineering.
5. anticipate change in life. be a chaord. navigate, don't just "go with the flow"
6. draw from within. be a person of enthusiasm (En Theos). it's not doing without, it's doing within when your without.

i thank analog for the generosity of allowing me to attend in this kind of seminar. i am not perfect, and i think nobody does. i have my own problems too, financial, relational, professional and personal. whatever it is, i know time will come to me and i will overcome all of those, with help from this kind of principles and ....prayers. i want to spend more quality with my family too. quality time is really essential. Isn't it? particularly when you spend it with your love ones, quality time for our family is giving our time for what they want to do. no agenda... plainly, just what they want to do.

"how about you, how much will you spend?"

Ten Eighty One

"a poignant wish for a tranquil life will find no sanctuary in today's world, we live in an era of swift, violent and often distructive change and rather than lament this vainly we must decide if we should be the master or victim of change".

i can't remember if it was the exact quote and i still can't find it even on the net (help po). what i just remember is that it is from him, the great president of the republic (for me). if my memory serves me well, i read it during my first year high, from a barrowed book of my dad i think. please correct me if i'm wrong. corrections is gladly welcome. there is also a classic words that says "the only thing that's permanent in this world is.... change". yes we knew that. but the thing that we do not understand is the impact of change that is affecting you and me TODAY.

mind your own

i also dream of managing my own business someday. business? usual definition - entity that produces a product or provides a service. but then what is the real essence of having a profitable business?

in a speech by mr. Goizueta some ten years ago. by the way this man is the former CEO of coca-cola company. he said, "Not long ago, we did some research and came up with an interesting set of facts. A billion hours ago, human life appeared on Earth. A billion minutes ago, Christianity emerged. A billion seconds ago, the Beatles performed on The Ed Sullivan Show. A billion Coca-Colas ago was yesterday morning. And the question we are asking ourselves now is: What must we do to make a billion Coca-Colas ago be this morning? By asking ourselves that question, we discipline ourselves to that long-term view." that is the power of having a positive perspective about life and business.

business controls our lives. it controls our elections through campaigne contributions. it controls our legislations through lobbying. it also controls our media through ownership. and it controls our everyday interactions as employees and costumers. and all of this is done in the narrow self interest of business. and that the big difference between what we have the situation today with business in control vs. when it used to be religion or goverment because ATLEAST religion and government had as their purpose to improve the quality of life in the community. not all business has never really had that as part of its reason for being. think why?

as a matter of fact, what they teach in business school today is that the only worthwhile purpose of business is to maximize profit, maximize profit and maximize profit. and that's the PROBLEM, that the most powerful force in our society is in many cases focus solely on maximazing profit. but Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream business is really different. they define business as a combination of organized human energy plus money which equal to power. ben and jerry is different because from the start they also learn that there is a spiritual aspect to business. as you give, you receive. as you help others, you help in return. and just because the idea that good thing you do will comes back to you is written in the bible and not on the business textbook doesn't make any less valid. all are interconnected and AS WE HELP OTHERS WE CANNOT HELP BUT TO HELP OURSELVES.